A Change of Perspective

Recently I chatted with some friends about my “guyatus”.

I was explaining to my friends why I chose a one year break from men, what my goals are, etc.

It was actually really nice to share my thoughts with these lovely ladies because it allowed me to hear some other perspectives about my goal.

From: http://mashable.com/2013/05/07/atlas-mobile-calendar/
From: http://mashable.com/2013/05/07/atlas-mobile-calendar/

One of my friends said that while a year was a great goal, it may be more important/realistic to just gauge my feelings (instead of a time limit) to determine when I was ready. If I say that I don’t want to try anything romantic for an entire year, I may miss out on something special. Conversely, I may not even be ready by the year’s end, and it’s possible I may throw myself into dating when I shouldn’t.

This really made me think about my goal, and I think my perspective of it has changed. I’m going to stay with the general concept of a guyatus; but instead, I’m going to check in with myself regularly and determine when I feel ready. I’m going to try not to put a time limit on my life, I’d prefer it to be more organic.

After going to rehab for my eating disorder, I realized I wasn’t “fixed” the moment I actively stopped going to therapy. It has been a process and it would have been unfair to myself if I had the expectation that I would be okay after a few months or a year. To be honest, I actually don’t remember the specific period of time when I actually felt okay with myself. A year after rehab, I felt much better; two years after I felt even better.

So if it takes me five months or a year or three years to feel okay with dating again, that’s what it will be.

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